"When reports of Beyonce nursing surfaced, breast feeding advocates rejoiced. But the conversation soon took a strange turn into which group, white moms or WOC, could claim victory in Beyonce’s choice. Blue Ivy is the ultimate beneficiary, and though Bey invited some scrutiny through her public persona, the clamoring to politicize her body made me cringe. Then, of course, the same women who rushed to make her the BF poster child didn’t waste time expressing their dismay when they learned baby Blue nursed for “only” 10 weeks. Moms can’t win. They rarely receive simple empathy; they get judgement. I imagine that the superstar, like most new moms, wrestled with what would be the correct choices for herself and her baby. I don’t even know the woman, but I’m resentful of the attacks she’s received. Mothers who are not abusing their children have a right to autonomy even when performing practices we find disappointing or odd."
"I wish someone would tell Ms. Randall that Black women are not the only group suffering from this epidemic; the nation at large is. The average American can barely watch a 30 minute show without being bombarded with commercials and show scenes with delectable images and clips of food. Let’s face it, our country as a whole has a serious issue with how we feel about and look at food. Most family chain restaurants (that many Americans go to for weekly family dinners and/or to celebrate special occasions) serve their food on plates that are close to being the quarter of a size of a coffee table, and yet we demonize and punish those who fall victim to it. That, my friends, is hypocrisy at its finest."
— Let’s Get Real: A Reponse to Alice Randall’s ‘Black Women and Fat’
"A black woman’s word is never enough. Some may say that is an opinion, but I’ll argue that it is a fact. Our cries of victimization are mocked and laughed at; our testimonies twisted and turned to appear preposterous and inconsistent. Even when we are proven to be right by the corroboration of others, we are rarely given credit. Rape culture thrives in America, and when it is a black woman who is the victim those pressures intensify by a thousand. I don’t care if Ms. Diallo’s friends were drug dealers and in prison (as it was reported); that by no means should have negated the fact that she may have been brutally attacked by a man who has been known to abuse his power and influence time and time again."
— She Told Us So: Nafissatou Diallo and Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s New Case
"As a black person, if someone kills you, you better had been a perfect student, or been nice to all your co-workers, and been obedient in every way possible, you had better not fought for your life, or stolen anything, or had children out of wedlock, or been on welfare, or been a gang member, or drug dealer. You had better not been wearing a hoodie, or Nikes, or baggy pants. If you can, please put on a suit before you get killed. You had better not have braids, if you plan on getting killed. You had better not had gotten into a fight recently. Because having had done those things means that you were worth shit. That you deserved to die. Please try to keep that in mind."
"We get pregnant because we feel that the only form of love has to be physical. Because our daddies or mommies weren’t in our lives. We get pregnant because we thought he was the one. And because when our friends tried to tell us he was bullshitting we wouldn’t believe them. We get pregnant because unprotected sex is the only way to make sure we aren’t second best. We get pregnant because we have low self-esteem and the only confidence that we can seem to muster is from the feeling of slighted appreciation from some dusty ass guy. We get pregnant because we weren’t acknowledging our own sexual health or don’t comprehend the importance of taking care of ourselves inside and out. We get pregnant because we think condoms are whack and we are trying to grow up a little too fast. We get pregnant because living off of someone else’s money (welfare) is more attractive than getting up of our lazy asses to actually apply our able-bodied selves. We get pregnant because we’re lost and it’s a cry for help. We get pregnant because we don’t know no better. And we need someone smart, wiser, and older to help us know better."
"Our babies are our testaments that we leave to the future. All of our dreams, hopes and aspirations are placed on them, hoping that each generation will succeed where the previous ones failed. If our babies are being killed before they can leave their imprint and influence on this earth, than our testaments and voices are collectively being silenced. If we want our stories to survive and the dreams of our ancestors to be fulfilled, we must stop being complacent with the way things are and seek to change the environments that we inhabit."
what i know: she’s frontin’…her marriage is NOT perfect
Great post!
i would love to get married again, and i think marriage to the right person is a beautiful thing. but marriage is hard, and no one breezes through it. period. there will be tough times, and you have to want to be involved, or it will not work.
thus, i have a serious problem with people pretending like their marriage is so perfect, while turning their nose up at people going through tough times. these are the people with the ridiculous and desperate displays of PDA – why is it necessary for you to be all over your husband in public? won’t you see him later? don’t you all live together? or the ones with the overly sappy facebook declarations – meanwhile behind closed doors, he doesn’t even come home at night, or they sleep in separate bedrooms, or they don’t even talk to each other, or they don’t have sex at all, or they are BOTH having affairs. #bloop
"Feminism gives women the tools and space to speak, write and argue about their need of equal representation in the political, social, religious and economic spheres of life. It in no way diminishes any romantic or sexual desire that a woman may experience. I love having men open doors, give up their seats on public transportation, and pull out chairs for me as well as rise from the table when I do. Does this mean that I am complacent and weak without thoughts and ideas of my own? Of course not. Wanting to be a treated a certain way by men that I am attracted to, does not mean that I want these very men to control other aspects of my life, namely how I worship, what I am entitled to from the government, and how I am to act in social settings."
"George Zimmerman overzealously killed Trayvon Martin, and is a man who fancies himself as a vigilante with delusions of grandeur; otherwise he would’ve remained in his vehicle, as he was instructed to do by the police dispatcher he spoke with, as he stalked Trayvon Martin. Zimmerman outweighed Trayvon by about 100 pounds, in addition to a reported history of aggression and therefore a propensity for violence. While this information may not be allowed at trial, it is definitely a reason for the police to have made an arrest following Trayvon Martin’s senseless killing. The laws do not distinguish criminals by the amount of education one has or even their standing in the community. Many so called important persons have fallen from grace. But frankly George Zimmerman would have needed to climb upon a ladder to reach the level upon which Trayvon was operating. Yet this white man has not been arrested for snuffing out a life, taking a child from his parents and stealing his future."
"Just a few hours ago, I was talking to a woman on the phone about the murder of this teenaged boy, Trayvon Martin, and she said someone told her that it’s a shame that we Black folks don’t teach our children about the brutal history of this country, how Black folks were treated in the past, and how that history keeps extending its reach into the present. It’s in a hundred history books, but how many of us will read that history?"
